Treina duro, luta facil

Last year I competed in my first Finnish Open and lost in first round in blue belt division. I felt kind of sad at the moment and even cried a bit, but it was quite easy to stand up again with a smile and try to get better. Last weekend in my debut in elite class I managed to defeat one of the girls I most look up to, seriously something I was not counting on at all. And still I come back home without a feeling of success.

I look back to the year and I feel that I accomplished a lot in bjj competitions. Despite wins and medals, mainly I have learnt the proper attitude that allows me to give my best while competing. I have learnt to never fear the possibility of a loss, to step onto the mat smiling and willing to fight, to never give up and to believe in myself. I have also learnt that no matter what I do or what I achieve it will be for myself, only myself. 

It feels good to know that I could win my first fight in europeans with one month of purple belt experience; that when for the first time foreigners were allowed in Finnish Team Championships I gave my 100% and won all my 4 fights in open class for my team; that I could go to Finnish Open and face someone like Charlotte von Baumgarten, and although I obviously lost to her I could wrestle without having any doubts. But then again, not a feeling of success.

There is a point in time in which competing started to feel surprisinlgy easy, no matter who my opponents are. The key for this success is clear: "treino duro, luta facil". Indeed the harder the training gets, the easier the competitions is. I have always thought about that "physically" and not "mentally", but now I know the latter is definitely the determining factor. Eventually I had nothing to loose and everything to win, from where comes both the success and the emptyness...

I never wanted to be a super competitor or a reference for anyone, I just wanted to belong in a team. Competition has been always a secondary thing for me.  I used to think that I will succeed in competition when walking through the fighting area would be as easy as walking thorugh the gym tatame, but the truth is that I only starting winning when the first thing was easier than the second one. Now I understand in a different way this saying "Treina duro, luta facil"... As a grim life joke, at this point going to training is so stupidly hard that any competition seems like a walk in the park.

It is not the amount of pushups I do, but the life lessons I learn that allow me to achieve victories.

Photo by Henrik Siiskonen